My friend Stu has the most beautiful and thick head of hair I’ve ever seen on a person, and he religiously swears off hats. He wants to be sure his hair and scalp get all the circulation they could possibly need. If not wearing a head cover gets me a third of Stu’s hair, I’ll never cover it again. So with the change in weather and my devotion to Stu’s ‘do, I’ve started leaving the house with a naked head. Of course friends and family tell me it looks great, but I’m still self-conscious. I’ve still got a little thin patch in the front that needs special attention. I’d call it a comb-over, but there still really isn’t enough hair to warrant a comb. It’s more of a pat over – or a spit moistened hand smear over. Anyway, let’s just say it really has to be arranged perfectly to not look terribly disturbing.
I took my naked head to last week’s Baptism. Being a major event in a child’s life, the day was well documented. I held one of the girls for approximately three minutes. This guaranteed my appearance in well over seven hundred photos. Somehow these photos ended up everywhere – forwarded with emails, posted on Facebook, plastered on the billboard over the Lincoln Tunnel. Boy did I receive a LOT of comments about the hair.
My favorite was from my mom. “Honey, it looks like a really expensive hair style.”
“Mom, it WAS a RIDICULOUSLY expensive hair style.” I’m not sure that it’s a price worth paying for much other than not dying. If you’re planning a spa retreat in the near future, avoid any place that has a “Chemo-stry Full Body Hair Removal” treatment. Stick with the seaweed wrap. Trust me.
So rather than the cancer ‘do or the chemo-coiffure I’d like to share some of the other nicknames people have suggested for the current hair style:
Beggars can’t be choosers. Hell – I’d be happy with the Nancy Regan if it just meant a little more hair! Though Dottie does have me thinking about picking up some visors and learning how to putt…