I think I have a new boyfriend. His name is Aloe Blacc. Aloe like the plant. Blacc like the…um…blacc.
I can’t get this song out of my head. (Hey, hey.) Also? I need backup singers to follow me around and punctuate my pauses with harmonized exclamations. (Hey, hey.) Also I’m going to try to say things like “Wine is good to me and helps me pass the time,” more often. (Hey, hey.)
Need more? Check this one out. Seriously. Who knew a Michael Jackson song could make a girl moist? Maybe don’t answer that.
Ok, I think I’m ready to continue now.
No wait….(Hey, hey.)
It’s time to stop pretending that I have anything to say today that even begins to compare to the magnificence and glory of this:
Right?!?! Remember how much The Vegetable Assassin hates kazoos? Well, with that extra 3 minutes she saved last week by skipping the uke video, she created that masterpiece you see above. I’m thinking about wallpapering my bathroom with that image. Also I might make place mats. Or maybe I’ll put it on baby ones-ies. At the very least, I’m going to start mocking up some customized Thank You Notecards for all the agents that don’t want to represent my book.
Now go forth and Monday, Interwebz. I have to make a special shopping trip today because the clerk at the CVS across the street told me,”There’s no such thing as Super Bowl tinsel.” But I know full well he’s lying and just wants to horde it all for himself and HIS Super Bowl party. Also, if we’re going to go caroling, Herbert needs to learn some fight songs, STAT.
Wait, do pro teams have fight songs? The Super Bowl is pro teams, right? Does that affect the sort of tree you’re supposed to get? I get all these damn bowls confused.
Please tell me that if I just buy an ass ton (like five pounds? Hey, hey.) of cheddar cheese that everything else party related will be ok…
Is that Rod “I pooped my pants” Stewart? Good God go wash your hands Elly! Before you start to shrivel up. It’s contagious you know.
I know. I’ll request Veg photoshop in some rubber gloves, too.
Love love love what she did with that picture. Why are you concerned with decorating for the Super Bowl when Snowmaggedon is on it’s way?! Stock up on food so you don’t have to eat Mildred.
I made a french toast emergency run already. Bread – check…shit I forgot milk and eggs. I have chocolate. Does that count?
I do sincerely hope you flushed twice to make sure he didn’t get a chance to swim back up.
That song rocks!
Mildred is guarding the bowl, just in case.
Shrimp cocktail is always a big hit at a Superbowl party, and Chateaux Le Flav goes great with seafood. (I recommend the Chardonnay)
Just make sure to boil the shrimp first. If you use live shrimp “cocktail” it’s a whole ‘nother kind of Superbowl party.
What kind of sick ticket boils the shrimp?!
I’m not even sure why I said that. Today is indignant for no good reason day right?
This reminds me of that scene in Tampopo where they put a live shrimp in a bowl of ?soy? and then invert in on the girl’s stomach during sex. I think it was a shrimp. I think it was the girl’s stomach. I think it was during sex. I think it was in Tampopo. Maybe its just all in my mind.
You can also do that with Nutella and Chocolate Chip Cookies. In fact, I’d recommend it.
If you are allergic to seafood, Chateaux Le Flav also goes good with these…
I prefer bourbon rocks with my chocolate-chip cookies, thankyouverymuch. I’ve not tried nutella, though. I wonder how nutella rocks tastes?
Nutella goes well with anyone. Er, I mean anything.
I. Um. You guys just roll with your boiled shrimp, Nutella,and soy. I’ll be hiding under my bed.
Mmmm… All this talk of Nutella, soy & shrimp is reminding me that I skipped lunch today.
You kicked me off your blogroll AGAIN!
Stop toying with my soul!!!!!!
I swear every time I update WordPress you go away. Why you and only you? Did you seduce WordPress’s only son or something?
Is that a picture of Dolly Parton in the background of the video?
Beer is much more important that cheese, after all the cheese is used to make hats anyway.
I had to watch it again…which was not hard (hey, hey)…and YES. I’m going with Yes. That’s Dolly. God I love this song.
Take that spiky topped fucker straight to the city dump, otherwise he’s like a mouse and finds his way right back again!
Also, I keep hearing alternative versions of Billie Jean this week. Check out this more countrified one too and tell me the dude isn’t Johnny Depp’s doppelganger.
Holy crap I love that one even more! You’re like the gift that keeps giving today! You’re like Lilo’s crotch if the gifts were scabies! Once you get those cleared up, we should totally make out.
And yes…but he’s even hotter than Johnny because MUSICIAN. 20 plays later, I’m going back for more.
Isn’t it great? And that dude is hot. I don’t even find Johnny Depp hot but musician Johnny look a like = hot. Go figure.
who cares about him? his backup singer is major league-cute in the hottest way. Joy – very apropos.
well since i’m done with the baby-making, i’d like 8 coasters, 4 thongs, 2 water bottles and 1 iphone case with that image.
As always, your wish is my command, muffin.
Somehow listening to the music DJed by you and looking at that picture of you makes today all of a sudden bright. You hear about the impending blizzard hitting the Midwest? And then apparently New England is at the same time getting tons of snow as well. Sorry I digressed.
I want to be your backup singer but I can’t harmonize. I can be the dancing baby though.
Harmony, schmarmony – it’s all about that rack.
I think we’re going to miss the most of it. The weather I mean. Not your rack.
Just serve a bunch of stuff that starts with “Ch” and nobody will care who is playing. Cheddar. Cheese. Cheese. More Cheese. Chips. Chili. Chocolate. Chardonnay.
Don’t know where this came from.
I have chick peas! Does that count? I’ll run get some challah bread, too. And chum.
Oooh, he has a smooooooth voice (hey hey). Love it. And that pic is AMAZING! You need a billboard with that on it.
I want to curl up in his voice like a down comforter and watch Twilight.
Any guy who wears white pants and sings with that much soul cannot be ignored.
I really, really want to lick him. And his white pants.
Okay, that is officially my new musical obsession. Done. Finished. I bet it will sound awesome on the elliptical.
No doubt. Shimmy on the hey, heys.
*sits in corner quietly rocking back and forth and twirling hair*
*pours two glasses of red and joins Shawn in the corner*
Why did you do that to us? Must. download. now.
Also? I like your hoop earrings.
I’m just Elly from the block.
Even on his way to the garbage I’m sure he looks like he’s ready to start a verse of Maggie May – Throw him in quicker.
…that or impregnate yet another super model.
I don’t think you have readers. You have groupies. Someone’s most likely rooting through your trashcans as I write this.
Obviously you need to learn the Packer Polka for your party:
Those are the lyrics.
You can hear it here, though I’m not crazy about this fan’s video.
I had never thought about it, but it seems uke-ready. There’s even a bit that you could do with the kazoo.
You’re welcome. Also, please make a video for me so I can see it.
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