Are We Equals?

So it’s International Women’s Day.  As you may or may not recall, I myself have a vagina, which qualifies me as an International Woman (of mystery).    And so I too would like to celebrate, “the story of ordinary women as makers of history.”

Now watch out, I might get serious for two seconds here:  People keep asking me if I care what gender this parasite is, if I want a boy or a girl.  Maybe, if I really listen to my heart of hearts, the answer is a girl.  But when I listen to my head, I start to wonder….in much the same way I wonder if my kid will be gay…do I really wish that on it?  Given the choice, would I protect it from all those hardships that gender or sexual orientation can cause?  Yeah, I dunno.  But it makes ya stop and think, eh?

This video will also make you stop and think….and not just think, “Wow, Daniel Craig is a surprisingly attractive woman.”

Also? I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.

UPDATED:  OK apparently the voice over is actually Dame Judy Dench.  I get silver haired British ladies confused.  I’d probably believe you if you told me that was actually Camilla.  Still, if I’m picking which old British lady I’d like to be, I’m sticking with the choice of Helen Mirren.  Unless the Queen is an option.  Nope, still Helen.  The end.


  1. As a mom to two boys who is currently considering a third, I think about this often. My interview that I wrote about last week is something that would only happen to a woman. Don’t even get me started on sexual/domestic violence. The world is a much scarier place for a vagina owner.
    Maybe someday. Thanks for posting.

  2. I wanted a girl when I was pregnant. When I found out it was a boy at my sonogram I cried for about 5 minutes then I thought about my 3 teenaged nieces and thanked the Gods for a boy.

  3. I’m pretty sure that’s Dame Judi Dench, although I might want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up, too.

  4. i hear ya about getting the hot silver-haired brits confused — i just rented a movie with charlotte rampling so i thought it was her.

    also, i’m pretty sure daniel craig would look good even as a goat.

  5. I truly hope I live to see the day that women are treated as equals by men in every part of the world.

    Men can be such dirty fucking velociraptors.

  6. Growing up in a house of all girls, I wanted to have all boys. But when I had my daughter, she definitely stole my heart and continues to do so with her very girlishness (which, btw, sometimes includes farting at the dinner table).

  7. The world isn’t a fair place for anyone. Replace women with gay, or black, or latin, or muslim and it all reads the same (and even more so for the women in those groups). Even white guys get short shrift if they’re poor.

    We didn’t know, or care, what gender our kids were going to be. We specifically asked not to be told – neither I nor my wife wanted any gender expectations to color our child-raising experience. All we wanted was a healthy baby – not for our sake, but for the baby’s. It was going to be loved no matter what. They both were, and are.

    Having expectations on what it would be like to raise a child of a certain sex is setting yourself up for disappointment. Had I, for instance, wished for a son I could teach to work on cars or do “manly” things with I would have missed raising the quiet, bookish, caring son who is the least mechanical being on earth, who is also almost autistic in his inability to integrate into southern, straight, society. I cannot think what is more ostracizing than being non-athletic, non-religious, and gay in a small southern Georgia town and had we tried to raise him that way I think he wouldn’t be around today – and he almost wasn’t.

    It wasn’t any different raising our daughter, in that she isn’t girly – never has been, may never be – wears dresses on pain of death (and it has to be certain death to convince her), who liked Harry Potter and didn’t like Barbie, Ramona or Judy Blume; wears nothing but jeans & t-shirts, loves Blazing Saddles and quotes Monty Python better than Michael Palin ever did. She also suffered from having been different, but blended in better.

    Had we cared about what gender they were going to be, all of that could have been harder than it was – hard not just for our sake but mostly for theirs. Enduring not only the normal angst of growing up but the additional torture of being different where difference is least tolerated – among teenage kids.

    You love your children no matter what. Forcing gender expectations upon them instead of allowing them to find their own path is only one more burden on adolescence that isn’t needed or even required.

    Tolerance starts at home. Teach your daughter she can be president and one day she will (I think Hillary could have done it). Teach your son he can do anything and don’t be upset when he chooses something you wouldn’t. It isn’t about you, its about them.

    1. You’re like the Yoda to my Luke Skywalker. Or maybe you’re my Obi Wan. Whichever it is, I’m just glad to have you in my village. (PS You’re a hard guy to email.)

  8. *sigh8 … kind of part of what I was saying on my blog… but put much better… and with facts ‘n’ stuff. Daniel Craig comes from about 4 miles away from me… wonder if he’s related to the tranny in the charity shop? But he doesn’t do it for me as a woman!

  9. wow….crazy video….DC surely does make an attractive woman.

    i really wanted a girl when i was pregnant. there was no man in the picture and i wasn’t sure if i could raise a man “correctly.” i discovered after having my daughter that there’s no “boy” way or “girl” way to raise a kid. =)

  10. That video was brilliant! Thank you. You never stop thinking when you are a parent…you just torture yourself repeatedly with “thinking” and “fearing” and “oh my god, in what ways I am fucking up this child that was born so perfect?!” Aww…parenthood.

  11. If you have a boy, be prepared for lots of mini hard-ons. They aren’t so cute. And before long, boy will have his hands in his pants every morning when you wake him up. I’m just saying.

  12. Boys.. Are great, but then they become men.. Something about the greatness is lost along the way. Girls are smart, but they treat their mothers horribly. There’s no way to win… Only hope to have one that rises above these stereotypes…

  13. My only advice on parenting is to just love them, and know that can be hard some days. The cutsy stuff is easy. It’s when you’re standing there wondering how the hell, the whiny, rude, monosybylic, troll, pouting in front of you could possibly have come out of your lady parts, that you realise the wonder of loving your offspring. It’s true that you love them no matter what.

    My two are opposites, although both boys. One who is Mr Sport, bloky bloke. The other who still enjoys running around the house with a bright orange velvet cape (lined with sparkly rainbows)and has just requested to take up dance. Raised the same and totally perfect in totally different ways. Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter, neither does sexual orientation. You get what you get and you do your best to teach them to love and respect themselves and to engage with the world with an open and accepting heart.

    Oh, and my other tip for raising kids. Every night when they were little I would tuck them into bed with a kiss hug them tight and then fart. Always ensured fits of laughter and happy dreams no matter what happened during the day.

  14. My best friend is married with three daughters. His first two grandchildren were girls. In situations like that, you learn quickly to treat women appropriately.

  15. Oh hell, take no parenting advice. All these folks have given good advice, to be sure, but there’s a lot of ways to go wrong and a lot of ways to go right and as long as you remember to keep duct tape on hand you’ll do fine no matter which way you go. Okay, keep the advice about the love and support. You will need that. And the duct tape.

    As for equality. That was a fantastic video. I struggle every day with gender equality issues. I don’t want to push my son toward masculine things just because he’s a boy, but i indulge my girls’ girly interests (nail painting, for example) because it’s familiar to me and seems harmless. I allow many Barbies in this house, but loathe Bratz. I want them all to have the choice to have kids and be home with them. And yet i spend whole days wondering if my staying home is perpetuating the myth of correlation: Women in the home, men in the workplace. I enjoy cooking, cleaning, and doing “wifely” things. But I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t. And my husband has survived lay-offs while women he’s worked with have not. I hate that, but I’m grateful for his employment.

    I suppose Dame Judy Helen Mirren Dench is right, we need to keep asking, “Are we equals?”

    1. That’s a whole other interesting question. I often wonder if not working is in some way an insult to the women who worked so hard for me to be able to work. Way to give me a whole new level of complications to obsess over.

  16. Mr. Monk, my 8year old, says it the best, and he says it often, “I am so glad I am not a girl! I wouldn’t want to experience birth pain!”

    I know this: If I had a girl, I would have told her, “Marriage is optional. Having children does not have to be a given.” I think it says a lot that when I think about giving my own children (both boys) this advice, I don’t feel nearly as guilty or revolutionary.

    1. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen “guilty” and “revolutionary” together in a sentence about feelings before. It might just be my new favorite thing.

  17. Camilla’s holding out to narrate International Dress Sexy Day. If this tired, bedraggled planet has any hope at all, it will be women who will save it. Women are the planet’s #1 unused natural resource, and the numbers of women and girls in ALL countries of the world being used as sexual slaves is appalling. Wake up World, or you are doomed.

  18. No way, babes, I’m totally a Denchie.

    She’s like 140 and still totally shaggable. Nice.

    AS for the video and the sentiment, well…

    You know my thoughts on gender equality, both in and out of the bedroom.

    As for the bun currently browning in the proverbial oven…we need more of you, Kitten. And you know it.

    – B x

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