And Then My Ukulele Ran Away

You know when you’re trying to take a picture outside in the sun but you can’t see what you’re doing yet it’s imperative that you document what’s happening so you just snap approximately four hundred and seventy bajillion photos in the hope that one of them might come out clearly focused?And then you finally get around to looking through those four hundred and seventy bajillion photos to select the paltry four non-blurry, usable images? Then days later you actually look closely at those four pictures and realize that your ukulele has feet?

We’ve all been there, right? But let’s circle back to that in a moment. First, allow me to shamelessly promote the other writing I’ve been doing around the Interwebz. Because that pays way more than writing here. So…you know…at all. And DIY Ukulele kits don’t pay for themselves. Except this one kinda did. But I digress. Again.

First, I threw my tits a giant retirement party. Though technically they’re still doing some consulting work. Let’s just pretend they’ve been liberated, k?

Second, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my children may never know how to load a cassette player into a walkman. Mostly. But be damned sure they’re going to learn how to work a record player.

Now that we have that business out of the way, here you are, on a Friday, looking for some uke-spiration. Well, I didn’t record a song. I drank craft beers and ate fried cheese curds last night instead. And you know what? I’D DO IT AGAIN, DAMMIT.

So instead of the usual ukulele video, I’ll tell you about the ukulele I just built. Yes, built. I’m amazing. And it was an easy DIY kit. But still…

She doesn’t have a name yet. I’m not even sure she’s a she. She sounds like a she. I think. I’ll use her in the next ukulele video and you can weigh in with your opinion. Living in the middle of a schlong fest, I think I’m prone to throw in feminine qualities while anthropomorphizing our musical instruments.

But you try not anthropomorphizing a ukulele when it has legs. And feet. And it runs away from the spray varnish…


…especially when you’re slightly hung over from too many craft beers and a dinner of half an order of fried cheese curds.

Happy MFBT.

Oh, if you want to see more photos of the as-yet-un-named ukulele being built, you can see them here.


  1. Did you paint the ukulele yourself too? It’s exquisite! Love its legs, LOL. It used to be your cat that insinuated itself into the background of your photos. Now it’s your cheeky monkeys.

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