Frankly, I’m the big winner. There’s been a whole mess o’ giggling up in here – until yesterday that is. Then it got nasty.
Did I mention I’m a Libra? Actually, I’m a double Libra with a Taurus moon. For you non-astrology types that loosely translates at “good fucking luck getting that easily-distracted confrontation-avoiding shallow girl to make any kind of decision.”
I suck at picking favorites. So I didn’t. I narrowed it down to my top three picks (Crispy Nipples, the gal with the anal bleaching obsession, and she who has fucked a duck) then put Rocco in charge of the final decision. Obviously, all hate mail should go to him directly.
Speaking of hate mail, I’m just waiting for one of these artisans (term used loosely) I mock over at Craftastrophe to start sending me severed snake heads via FedEx. Today you can pop over and see just what happens when you set out in search of the perfect unicorn tricycle and instead find a Bearded Oyster costume. (That link is surprisingly perfectly safe for work.)
Where was I? Oh yes! THE WINNER!!
Well, it’s Mrs. Mary Mac (Mac Mac all dressed in black black black) from Pajamas and Coffee. Not only is her story magnificent, but I’m also super looking forward to fulfilling her prize. Wow, that sounded dirty. I think we’ve got another euphemism to try out.
*clears throat and puts on a slutty face*
“Oh the things he does to my kayak. I’d totally let him fulfill my prize.” *blink, blink*
Ah yes. That TOTALLY works.
Focus, Elly. So I can’t wait to fulfill her prize (Ok seriously? I can’t. stop. giggling.) because “I want you to sketch me naked on a velvet sofa, like in Titanic.”
Your wish is my command, Mary Mac. (For the rest of you out there, 8×10 glossies will be available for the low, low price of $25 each.)
I’ll post her complete piece tomorrow, but here’s a little teaser:
Nancy had been a psychiatric ward nurse for thirteen years. She was exhausted, but her husband Bill had been laid off and she had kids to feed, so she showed up for work every day. The conversations she had with her patients, on the ‘not psychotic enough for straitjackets but not stable enough for the real world’ ward kept her from getting too bored with her work. Plus, she liked most of her co-workers.
Quick show of hands – who here is surprised to learn that I inspired a story about a mental institution? No one? *sigh* Yeah, me either.
Congrats Mary Mac! I’ll be waiting for that photo. So will the rest of the Interwebz…