Continuing with this week’s theme of “Bad Decisions from Elly,” let me tell you about the food choices I’ve made in the past 36 hours:
- Tuesday dinner – buffalo wings and a pitcher of beer (As in, I’m pretty sure I drank an entire pitcher of beer myself)
- Wednesday breakfast – brownie and seventeen cups of green tea
- Wednesday lunch – a giant soup bowl full of brussels sprouts (Can you say, overcompensating?)
- Wednesday dinner – more beer and an Ethiopian communal-piles-of-spicy-brown-stuff special
- Thursday breakfast – brownie
I’m strongly considering eating some Indian for lunch just to see if I rocket myself across the Hudson River to avoid paying bus fare.
In other news, my stomach hurts. Go figure. Also, I didn’t really sleep much last night. But one of my friends did. In fact she had a dream about me. It’s so awesome I’m going to share it *waves at Brittany*:
You were selling bikinis you made out of bread you sprayed out of an aerosol can (like EZ Cheese) and painted with garlic butter. I bought one then the two of us clad in our garlic bread bikinis went to the pool for water polo practice, but they wouldn’t let us in the pool because of the garlic butter. They didn’t seem to care about the bread.
So of course I googled “garlic bread bikini” so I could make her a “thanks for dreaming of me in a non-sexual way because otherwise it would have been awkward” greeting card, and this happened:
For the record, if I was ever to wear a bikini in public, I’m pretty sure I would be wearing one of these pizza suits on top of it. Then I googled plain old “bread bikini” and found this thing:
Mmm. Dead sexy. No seriously, those things are like bones. Yes that’s probably the point but can’t I still be a little freaked out? Also? Add a tutu on that girl, douse her in blood, and you’ve got a pretty decent representation of my Black Swan nightmares.
So obviously you’re now holding your breath and hoping I’ll look for a “pizza bikini.” Don’t deny it Interwebz, I know all about your sick pony-humping-freakazoid ways. And I still love you. That’s why I went out in search of this. Man I’m good to you people.
See what happens when I sit down at a keyboard with nothing specific to say? Let’s make this post end as soon as possible, shall we? I’ll just leave you with more more visual that is (fortunately) completely unrelated.