What do you get when you mix wine with a holiday weekend and some coloring pages?
Well, I imagine it depends on the family and the coloring pages. But if it’s my family and these coloring pages, you get this sort of conversation. (Names removed because my mother now lives close enough to drive over here and slap me.)
“I’ll trade you Wank Stain for Thunder Cunt.”
“I’m really enjoying this Bull Shit.”
“Fanny Flaps? What is that?”
“Meat curtains.”
“What?”
“Labia.”
“Oh.”
“I was wrong. My Dickhead does have a heart.”
“Dude, even the back of my Cunt looks nice where it’s bleeding through.”
“What are Fanny Flaps again?”
“Wizard Sleeves.”
“Wizard who?”
“Labia.”
“Right. Um…right.”
“Oh what the Hell. Pour me another glass of wine and I’ll give Anal a try.”
…and you get some seriously beautiful (and epically awesome) artwork for your wall. Best coloring book ever. Best family ever. Best holiday in a long time.
I hope yours were wondrous as well. Happy New Year, my sweets. May you bask in your possibility.
Christ, all I got was a Kliban Cats colouring book. Wish I’d got this one instead! Of course, I’d want to frame them all and hang them on the wall. That could run into serious money after a while so it’s probably just as well I didn’t get one.
My mom is apoplectic at the possibility of me hanging these on my wall.
“Pour me another glass of wine and I’ll give anal a try.” Those are the magic words practically every guy wants to heat.
^hear^
Heat. Hear. Here. It’s all anal.
Dude. I need this coloring book right now.
I need you to get that new website up and at it, missy. I can’t make all the vagina jokes by myself…
I need this.