This Week’s Tweets

  • To pee or not to pee (specifically into a bright orange jug or two) that is the question. How does one hide a pee jug during a showing? #
  • I'm going to spend the day trying to see how many times I can work the words "poppy cock" into casual conversation. #
  • "I'm glad you like my apartment, but can you leave now? I have to pee in a jug. Feel free to make an offer. On the apartment, not the jug." #
  • Holy crap they put in an offer! (And no, not on the pee jug. Sickos.) #
  • It never ceases to amaze me just how much surface area I can cover with a good surprise sneeze. #allergiessuckcricketballs #
  • Carrying around this much pee makes me have to…well…you can guess. #
  • Quick – writer's block! What survival tips would you offer someone trapped in an elevator with 28 other people. Go! #
  • Thanks for the help, Interwebz! — Survival Tips for being Trapped in an Elevator @sprocketink #
  • I have 666 followers. Now watch my head spin around in circles while I projectile vomit. Tahdah!!! #
  • I'm out of attorney review! I'm going to celebrate by throwing dirty dishes and clothes about and living in squalor for a few days. #
  • There are ribs, collard greens, and banana pudding in my near future. Imma explode in anticipation. Probably afterwards, too. #
  • You know how somedays life pokes you on the shoulder and whispers, "You are one seriously lucky bitch?" Well, thank you. Every one of you. #

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