This Week’s Tweets

  • Did Pippi Longstocking's "anger issues" ever make you uncomfortable? Cue the nightmares… — @craftastrophe #
  • I will now attempt to make yogurt. Someone please dial the 9. Then dial the 1. Now wait until you hear the fire alarm… #
  • Sadly, cold hot chocolate tastes eerily like a chocolate martini. #TooSoon #
  • I just saw a small child in galoshes and thougt, "How cute!" Someone feed me tequilla, take me clubbing, and never speak of this again. #
  • You know how I'm always saying I should get a life? Look what I found on the street. #
  • So apparently I AM the only gal that cleans her oven with a vacuum. Damn. #
  • Happiness is a cat fighting with a printer in a British accent. — Cat Vs. Printer, Translated #
  • Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, a lobster tail appears. My commenters make me looks demure and sane. #
  • I will never get used to my husband asking other men if he needs to bring a harness. #
  • Is there anything more painful than almost ripping off a nail? Probaby actually ripping off a nail. Nevermind. #
  • My little brother is engaged. I think. I may have been drugged. Thom might have been, too. @sistermerryhell #
  • A belated bday present that's almost as awesome as a gilded giraffe. #
  • Well I've already reached this weekend's quota for the sighting of strange men's naked asses in public. #FootballFansAreNuts #

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