Well according to Ryan, you guys like it when I keep you updated on current events. That, my lovelies, is why I’m bringing this article to your attention. It might even be better than the chick that got arrested for shaving her pubes while driving. You’re welcome.
A Georgia woman said a weekend outing turned into a horrifying experience when her young grandson developed blisters after he found a used condom in their hotel room and put it in his mouth.
Suddenly being able to fit strange things in my mouth seems like a much less “magical” talent.
According to Carmen Jones, the incident happened on Aug. 1 at the Wyndham Gardens hotel in downtown Atlanta, where she had taken the boy and his cousin for a weekend of family fun.
“We wanted to do something for them for the weekend before they started school,” Jones said. “The plan was we were doing Six Flags on Saturday and the aquarium on Sunday.”
After a full day at the theme park on July 31, Jones said, the exhausted family returned to the hotel.
Jones said at first glance room 329 looked perfectly clean, except that there was no soap and no towels.
Then, she said, she noticed something more troubling. “I’m like, ‘Girl, you know, these sheets don’t smell clean,'” Jones said.
I have to interject again for a brief moment because a) probably the best quote included in a news article EVER and b) but they still slept in the stinky, unclean sheets? The fuck! Who does that? *shudder*
The next morning, Jones said, she awoke to a horrifying scene.
“When I looked at my grandson, he had a used condom all down his throat — his tongue in it everything. And there was semen in the condom,” she said.
Jones immediately took the condom out of the boy’s mouth and called hotel management, she said.
Vomit. If ever there was a time to wash your kid’s mouth out with soap, that was it. I’m pretty much never, ever going to sleep again. As if bed bugs weren’t enough to keep you out of hotels these days…