Ten Things

Bad Ass Bugs
Bad Ass Bugs

Sometimes the Blog Fairies smile upon you.  I was drawing a complete blank on what to write today until Jamie from A Cheeto Named Larry (that is a FANTASTIC blog name) tagged me as someone he’d like to know more about.

Oh Honey, that was brave.

So now my little brain (that is still trying to recover from the red wine marinade I left it sitting in last night) doesn’t have to work hard at all for this post!  Without further ado (and therefore without further parenthesis) here’s ten random facts about your favorite Elly.

  • I’m obsessed with the smell of tomato plants.  Let me be clear – it’s not the smell of the tomatoes themselves that do it for me.  It’s the smell of the furry stems and leaves.  I like to rub the stems then sniff my fingers.  I could do that shit for DAYS.
  • I’m a compulsive flosser.  (Is flosser a word?  Do I even fucking care?  In this case it means one who flosses…like teeth…oh fuck it.)
  • Last night I bought Jeff Buckley’s Grace (possibly the best album of all time) on vinyl from eBay.  No, I do not currently own a device on which to play said vinyl.  He was the reason I set my sights on Columbia Records for my first major label gig.
  • I sing in the shower.  I pee in there, too.  Sometimes it all happens simultaneously.
  • I can only hear out of one ear.  In college, the patchouli-wearing mother fucker I was dating “accidentally” rammed a straw in my ear while we were joking around at the iHOP at two in the morning.  If we’re not making eye contact, don’t assume I can hear what you’re saying.  If we ARE making eye contact, don’t assume I’m paying attention.  You might just be pretty.
  • I have a gigantic birthmark on the back of my head.  (The strange things you learn from chemo…)
  • I’ve always been obsessed with lady bugs.  When we were little, Mom used to sing this totally fucked up song to us:

Lady bug, lady bug
Fly away home.
Your house is on fire
And your children
They will burn.

  • I have a thing for bass players (oh and sparkly vampires, too).  Please don’t show me your upright bass.  I can’t be held responsible for my actions.
  • If I had to pick, I’d rather go deaf than blind.  I love music desperately, but I think I could remember it well enough to enjoy the music in my head.  I’ve yet to see a sunset or a ribbon of light on the water that I could even begin to replicate in my mind.  (Cue sappy music.  I made myself nauseous with that one.  Then again, I AM hungover.)
  • I was in a band once.  I played bass.  I think it was called Joe’s Boots.  We SUCKED ass.  I’ve since learned that my real talent lies in kazoo playing.

Hopefully we can trick some more people into doing this silliness and they’ll churn out some more coherent answers.  As for me, I have big plans involving carbonated, caffeinated beverages and the couch.

Here’s five peeps I’m calling out.  Tell us your ten things, damnit.  Or else I’ll…think of something threatening later and tell you all about it.

Tell us EVERYTHING.  OK, tell us 10 things.  For you non-bloggers, feel free to share your random facts, too!  I’m awful curious about you quiet ones…

Ladies and Gentleman, back by popular demand – THE MIDDLETON SINGERS!


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27 thoughts on “Ten Things

  1. Oh my gosh where do I begin?

    That ladybug song is terrifying. Can I borrow it to sing to my precious children?
    Everyone has peed in the shower at least once. Or 10,000 times.
    I used to play bass too. Our band had one practice then we broke up. I wanted to play just like Geddy Lee of Rush, sans penis and weird face.
    And yes, tomato plants smell delightful.
    .-= Amanda@BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Please Join Me… =-.

  2. The kazoo is never appreciated the way it should be. It’s so versatile.
    Why you would quit a rockin band is beyond me. I would be the best groupie. I’ve proven it by chasing tour buses and throwing my underwear onto hotel balconies (from the street, not from the room).
    I actually love the ladybug song.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Good Monkey, Bad Monkey =-.

    1. I’m not sure it was a “quit” thing. As I recall it was more of a “disbanded” thing. It also might have had something to do with my heroin habit and penchant for hookers.

  3. I’m one of the followers of Eternally Distracted who have been sent here to kiss some booty (not the word E D used by the way) for bugging her to play the tag thing. I don’t blame her at all but since you are pushy enough to get her to agree, I have to take a second look at your blog. Huh. Pretty good.
    .-= Technobabe´s last blog ..The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face =-.

  4. Ok, couple of things:
    1, I know a stand up bass player, he’s awesome, grows organic herbs and plays standup bass and holds intelligent conversations, i adore him. So, are they all just cool cats like that?

    2, I have honestly never peed in the shower, have had this conversation before, just can’t bring myself to do it, some sort of mental block within me. *shrug*

    3, What the FUCK kind of permanent damage was your mother hoping to do with that song??!!! LOL
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked Weekend……….;) =-.

    1. For what it’s worth, Dad sang an equally comforting doozy about a military ship that sank to the bottom of the sea with all her passengers. My parents didn’t pay much attention to lyrics.

  5. I also molest fuzzy plants, although I prefer lamb’s ear, because our tomato plants are often rich with (shudder) spiders.

    Re: Peeing in the shower–of course. That’s how you prevent jellyfish stings in there.

    And the ladybug song? I grew up with the Peter, Paul, and Mary version, and I remember literally weeping at that verse sometimes. I was a wee bit sensitive.
    .-= Falling´s last blog ..In Which I Manage to Sneak a Karate Kid Reference in the Middle of a Parenting Philosophy Discussion =-.

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