My kid turns four today. Four. Four years. I know where every freaking second of those four years went. Colic. Temper tantrums. Sleep deprivation. Vomit cleaning. Potty training. And the laundry. All that fucking laundry. Four years without writing. Or sleeping. Or bathing regularly. Or going to movies. Or traveling. Or […]

And Then My Ukulele Ran Away

You know when you’re trying to take a picture outside in the sun but you can’t see what you’re doing yet it’s imperative that you document what’s happening so you just snap approximately four hundred and seventy bajillion photos in the hope that one of them might come out clearly focused?And then […]


Me: Whom do I love? Him: Me!! Me: Ayup! Him: And Sam! Me: I sure do. Him: And Daddy! Me: Very much. Him: And…YOU!   Thanks, kid. I needed that reminder. Also? Mark it down. It only took this kid three years, seven months, and nine days to surpass me in intelligence. […]

Shit That Saved My Life As A New Parent (and Possibly My Child’s, Too)

Seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant.  I am, of course, super happy for them.  I’m also super happy for me.  Mostly because several of my high school classmates are posting pictures of their grandkids on Facebook.  It’s nice not be the only old lady defying evolution.  *uterus bumps* Several of […]

Like A David Bowie Song But With More Boobs

This morning, while waiting for the green light to condone another cup of espresso, I turned to my husband and whispered, “I’m drinking coffee.  Willingly.  I’m a suburban housewife that drives her TWO kids through the two-lane streets of Jersey.  In a minivan.  That drinks coffee.”  I glanced down at […]

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