I’ve got no jokes today, kids.  I’m more than a little heartbroken.  And don’t panic – I’m fine (physically anyway) and so’s the parasite. But this guy isn’t.  Most of you probably won’t even remember him.  After all, that post is from nearly two years ago. Two years. That means […]


I dropped my paperwork into the clear acrylic bin beside the door to the lab.  I moved to take a seat, but when I saw a shaking bald man approaching, I perched on the window ledge hoping he’d take the last available chair.  The otherwise smooth skin of his head […]

Cruzin USA

So first things first, I suppose.  I’m all clean!  Well, my CT scan is all clean.  I’m still a filthy minded, hygienically challenged miscreant, but you people seem to go for that sort of thing. It took all mother fucking day.  I had my breakfast of champions at around 10am.  […]

Ass Slaps and David Lee Roth Kicks

I rocked that bitch.  Ass slaps and David Lee Roth kicks all around!  Fifteen months down, seventy more years to go. Like a teenager who stayed up far too late watching a horror movie, home alone while her parents were away on business, I feel foolish for the past two […]

Sappier Than a Nicholas Sparks Story

I’ve got rock climbing on the brain today.  “Really Elly?” I hear you asking.  “I don’t really think of you as the rock climbing type.”  Yeah well, just because I’ve never actually attempted rock climbing doesn’t mean I can’t still use it as the basis for an analogy.  I’ve never […]

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