Strangle a Tampon for Jesus

Here’s another one to file under the “Shit I Can’t Make Up” heading.  Thank goodness I have such amazing friends who bring this sort of thing to my attention. God bless the Interwebz, y’all.  And God bless Madge.  Because this is the sort of shit a gal just can’t find […]

And The Concrete Phallus Goes To…

Well Miss Krissy, it’s a good thing that you have “so muchroom for a mushroom” because I’ll be mailing you a hand-painted, fifteen pound concrete phallus later today.  Just for good measure, I had everyone (Mom, Dad, Rocco, Thom, and Lucy) give the cap a little lick before I nestled […]

Please Tell Me That White Stuff is Glitter

My favorite voicemail, which I just can’t bring myself to delete, is from my mom.  There’s no greeting, no introduction, no pleasantries, just one sentence: “Just wanted to tell you it’s fucking snowing here.” Sing it, sistah. Someone please tell me that it’s not really still snowing.  Tell me that […]