Home. Sort of.

If I ever win a Tony, I sure do hope it’s a year when NPH is hosting.  I’ve already planned my acceptance.  First, I’ll lick my award – Paula Deen style, y’all.  Then, I’ll forgo a formal acceptance speech and dedicate my window of time to presenting a clear, concise […]

Is It Still Monday?

If your Monday attention span is half as bad as mine is….did you say something?  Huh.  I could have sworn I heard did you happen to notice where I put my house keys?  I wonder if Rocco remembered to forward the I haven’t seen Lucy in at least two hours.  […]

Ukulele In The Morning

So long story short, suddenly I have to have the entire apartment packed up by Tuesday.  As a result, I spent large chunks of yesterday dumpster diving for boxes.  In other news, I’m a little pungent.  But the moral of the story is, just ignore all the boxes and the […]

Caulk Blocked

Next time I tell y’all that I’m going to sell a book, sell an apartment, buy a house, and allow an alien fetus to take up residence in my spleenicular cavity SIMULTANEOUSLY, can one of you slap me?  In the face?  And maybe give me a mean, squinty-eyed, disapproving look […]