Did I Miss Orientation?

I am the worst pregnant chick ever. “How many weeks are you again?” my friend Gwen asked just the other day. “I’m pretty sure I’m in the second trimester,” was the most specific answer I could give her.  Thank goodness I signed up for one of those newsletter thingies that […]

Colored Pictures, Uncolored Cake

An embarrassingly long time ago, I started a little something I called my Portrait Project.  I had all these grandiose plans of blazing through a portrait a week, solving world hunger, and somehow sculpting my arms into perfect replicas of Michelle Obama’s guns.  Four months later, I’m way behind on […]

Brooklyn Museum

I broke my two river rule AGAIN this weekend.  Here’s a little clue to manipulating the Elly – tell me you’re moving back to Michigan in three weeks time and I’ll follow you everywhere you go in an attempt to cram in as much quality bonding time as humanely possible…even […]

The Vibrator Play

“Someone is offering tix to ‘The Vibrator Play or In the Next Room.’  You interested?”  I nearly careened off the side of the road when I received that text on my way home from a particularly rewarding rendezvous with my boyfriend, Trader Joe.  There was only one possible response. “Have […]