My brain is a little sludgy lately.  I’m not sure if it’s this cold that won’t go away or the weather.  Actually, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what it is.  I’m getting anxious about my next appointment with Aloysius.  November 30th.  Three weeks.  Twenty one days.  Dude. A lot […]


As you probably noticed, I’ve been a little off my game for the past week or so.  There have been no references to glitter.  I’ve broken three drinking glasses.  My house is dirtier than Lindsay Lohan’s crotch.  My fridge is emptier than Sarah Palin’s mind.  Hell, I don’t think I’ve […]


Just call me Grumpelstiltskin.  I’m crabbier than Lindsay Lohan’s couch cushions and I can’t seem to break out of my funkagawea.  Even reading a slew of vagina-related comments this morning on yesterday’s post didn’t pull me out of my funk. Well, that’s not exactly true.  Apparently I’m just not in […]

Lunch is the Most Important Meal of the Day

Day 5.  No cell phone.  I’m about this far *making same hand gesture I use to describe Tom Cruise’s penis* from painting a keypad with my own blood onto a volleyball and calling it Webster.  Fortunately, I don’t think I can fit a volleyball in my back pocket.  If the […]