This Is Me Buck Naked

I think I’ve figured out why I’m not sleeping.  And surprisingly, it’s not just because I looked at this photo just before going to bed last night: Though I’m quite certain that didn’t help.  (I’m looking at you, Creamed Corn.) You see, Interwebz, I finished my book.  Or at least […]

A Study of Bikinis, Carbs, and My Colon

Continuing with this week’s theme of “Bad Decisions from Elly,” let me tell you about the food choices I’ve made in the past 36 hours: Tuesday dinner – buffalo wings and a pitcher of beer (As in, I’m pretty sure I drank an entire pitcher of beer myself) Wednesday breakfast […]

I Guess I Could Have Just Quoted MLK Instead

There’s just too much pressure to write something profound and inspirational today.  Go ahead and call me chicken, but one of my single greatest skills is avoidance.  I’m also really good at changing the subject. You know who just said something profound and inspirational last night?  My other non-sexual crush […]

Meat Showers and Kazoos

I’m still having bird nightmares.  I keep dreaming there are feathers in my mouth.  Why (OH WHY!) do my dreams always involve pulling strange things out of my mouth?  You know what?  Don’t answer that one. It doesn’t help that I keep reading pieces about birds randomly falling out of […]

Snow, Swans, and WHY AM I SO STABBY?!?

Congratulate me.  I’ve achieved an entirely new level of cranky pants.  I blame winter and Natalie Portman.  Oh hell, why not blame Rod Stewart, too?  I haven’t yelled at that fucker in a while. I saw Black Swan last night.  *turns frantically at the sound of rustling fabric, screams maniacally […]