God bless the Interwebz, y’all. And God bless Madge. Because this is the sort of shit a gal just can’t find in Martha Stewart’s magazine. You should click on over and learn how to make one for yourself, but I have to just highlight the magical parts for you guys.
To make tampon angels you will need the following supplies:
- The most absorbent Playtex tampons you can find, I’m using Supers, but the Super Plus or Ultra make a bigger angel.
Yes ladies, you can now advertise how busted your kayak is by decorating your tree. I predict this will lead to a new wave of trendy insults. For instance: “Those Kardashians are so loose, their tampons could double as a tree topper in Rockefeller Plaza.”
To start, pop the tampon out and loosen the string, move it down like a noose, and soak the tampon completely, wring out the water, fluff and hang somewhere to dry for a couple of days.
First? Thank goodness she clarified the tampons should be soaked in WATER. In a world were coffee cups need burn warnings, a blogger can’t be too careful. *shudder*
Second? “Like a noose?!?!” I mean, who isn’t homicidal on their period? But still… I guess the holidays do amp up stress levels, eh?
Lastly, next time someone comes by to meet Chunky Brewster, I can’t wait to say, “Oh, don’t mind all those fluffy tampons strewn all over the table. I just strangled and drowned them for Jesus’s birthday and now I’m waiting for them to dry. Here, hold the baby so I can find the glitter.”
On second thought, maybe I’ll just stick to the original plan of making glittery bell ornaments out of diva cups.