Sock Puppets (and Other Lonon Excerpts)

Although Dad’s retirement party was snowed out, we still managed to keep ourselves entertained.  Drew and Kate even made it out from Durham.  The conversations only get worse when you add in another brother.

You HAVE to be getting tired of these little fly-on-the-wall excerpts, but I just can’t stop myself.  So here’s one more.  Fortunately I’m running out of notes.

Mom:  You know the Germans are coming over for three weeks in September.  We were planning on visiting New York with them.  But after this weekend, I am afraid to take them to see you guys.

Mike:  Is Axel dating anyone?

Me:  He prefers the name Tripe.

Drew:  Does he know Magillicutty?

Me:  Oh my God they could get married!

Drew:  And then he’d be Tripe Juice?

Thom:  Do you think they hired a stripper for the party?

Mike:  They DID get one for his 4oth birthday.

Drew:  Hopefully it won’t be the same one.

Thom:  You know who likes getting fisted?

Mom:  Thommy!  *shakes head in horror*

Thom:  Nope – sock puppets.

Rocco:  Am I wearing my pretty underwear?  Yes!  These have little north poles all over them.

Drew:  Whoa.

Thom:  Easy, Rock Bottom.  We already saw the hole in the ozone layer when you bent over to check the fireplace.


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16 thoughts on “Sock Puppets (and Other Lonon Excerpts)

  1. @KeepingYouAwake is thinking about Rocco’s underwear again, and it’s disturbing me…

    I don’t know many people with an attention span strong enough to actually write down as much conversation between family members as you are capable of doing…

    Actually, my attention span is so bad right now that I didn’t even read it through. Regardless, you’d make a great playwright. Are you back in dirty Jerz? All this traveling was a lot of take… And my mother and step father are there as I type.

    You rock. (Seriously, keep Rocco’s underwear AWAY from @KeepingYouAwake…)

  2. I’m as filthy as the guidettes on the Jersey Shore! Speaking of which we spent far too much time trying to decide who we would each be if we were the cast of the show. Mike was “The Situation.” Mom was the duck phone.

    KeepingYouAwake can have all the Rocco panties he wants – so long as he washes them, folds them, and mails ’em on back here.

  3. Joe gets really irritated when I refer to his ones as “manties”. He feels, quite wrongly, I think, that boxers should be exempt from such terms.

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