Labored Thinking

It’s ironic, I suppose, that I spent most of Labor Day thinking about how to be able to work MORE and feel LESS safe. But that’s what I’m trying to do.

That’s how you sell a book. At least, I think it is? And sweet Stormy Daniels on a stick it makes me squirm.

AND WHAT AM I EVEN DOING? A BOOK TOUR? WHO THE FUCK DO I THINK I AM?

I kept waiting. Waiting for someone to give me permission to just run at this thing, push forward without constantly checking behind me to make sure that I wasn’t inconveniencing someone else by chasing this thing.

Thing is, a few weeks prior I had to go to Sloan Kettering. Everyone keep breathing. There’s no reason at this juncture to think that I need further treatment. The pre-cancerous cells they found have already been removed thanks to the surgery. The same procedure that found the cells was also the prescribed treatment. Convenient that, right?

The weird part is, if this were a coffee house instead of a cancer center waiting room, I would totally come here to write.

But I have history. And so there will be more tests. More ruling-outs. More just-to-be-safes. And somehow, the thought of doing scary things with my career frightens me less than doing the safe things for my health. It’s easier to pick up the phone and stumble my way through an event pitch with a bookstore I’ve never visited than it is to walk across a parking lot and through a sliding door with that damned Sloan Kettering logo etched on the glass.

I’m so lucky to be on this ride. Every part of it. So be damned if I’m not going to see where this next turn takes me. Permission granted, self.

And as soon as I gave myself permission to believe in this book…would you believe the first real-life copy arrived on my doorstep? (And yes, I did an utterly ridiculous Facebook live video opening the damn thing.)

So slide on over and see the book events we have scheduled. Because you bet your sweet asses I’m all in on pimping this thing. I’ll have swag for you.

In fact, if it so happens you’ve already pre-ordered your copy of the book, I HAVE SWAG FOR YOU NOW! Fill out this handy, dandy form with your proof of purchase, and I shall send you some gorgeous super bugger stickers and a personalized thank you! BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! I’m putting together an endearingly pompous bag full of Alex-and-Michael-approved items for one of you beautiful people to win! SO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS, RIGHT?!

And please, come see me! Pretty please. Give me a cuddle in real life. I promise to bring a uke with me.

Speaking of which, I have not forgotten it is Friday. Let there be uke.


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