Some days you wake up ready to take on the world, your task list fresh in your mind, your internet fast and your children compliant. And on those days, you of course reward yourself with a quick scroll through Facebook and then all productivity is lost because someone in your feed posts an article about some new line of sex toys that allow you to “lay alien eggs” in your interstellar entrance.
Because there’s NO WAY I can possibly resist the compulsion to read that. Paying, of course, particularly close attention to the details of how one must make their own “alien eggs” with gelatin [never ever the dessert kind] and copious amounts of both patience and free time [never ever gonna happen].
IT’S EVEN WEIRDER THAN SHOVING JADE EGGS IN YOUR CELESTIAL SNATCH.
Fortunately I recorded this video before reading that article. Because now all I can think about is these guys in the most disturbing porno ever.
I’m so, so sorry, Jim.
Anyway. I’ve been thinking a lot about my village and the wonderful people that have come into my life these past few years – both online and off. And maybe we haven’t “just met.” But as I age, time seems to become more subjective. They still feel shiny and new…yet old and comfortable, too. Magic. Like all things Muppets.
Shut up and sing, El.