I Swear It’s Not Porn

I know I write about my vagina a lot.  Ok A LOT a lot A LOT.  But I still hesitated when SEXIS invited me to write a piece for their webzine.  I went to my brother for advice.

Me:  I got a call back to write for a sex magazine.

Drew:  make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird

I took that as a vote for no and proceeded to call the rents.

Me:  How would you feel if I wrote for a sex zine?

Mom:  What’s a zine?  Wait, did you say sex?

Me:  It’s an online magazine that specializes in sex oriented content.

Mom:  Porn?

Me:  No, it’s definitely not porn.

Mom:  Please don’t write porn.

Me:  Mom, it’s NOT porn.

Dad:  Is it erotica?

Mom:  What’s the difference?

Me:  It’s NEITHER PORN NOR EROTICA!  I promise.

Dad:  If it’s not erotica, it’s definitely not porn.

Mom:  Honey, I always support you – no matter what you do.  But do you really have to write PORN?

Me:  It’s actually a very professional site – it’s full of journalistic integrity, strong writers, humorists, activists…(mumbling) and butt plugs.

Mom:  My daughter the porn writer.

Dad:  Wouldn’t you technically have to clean up your act to write for a porn site?

So yes – I wrote an article for SEXIS Magazine.  No – it’s not porn.  It’s actually a deeply personal piece on cancer, and how sex helped me survive.  Writing this piece definitely makes my list of the top five most difficult things I’ve ever done, but I’m glad I did it.  I debated long and hard (that’s what she said) about sharing it with you kids since it’s such a departure from my normal shtick, but I told a few people, then they told a few people, and suddenly I’m getting these wonderful letters from people I’ve never met.  I tell you, I’m downright squishy from all the lovin’.

Now in my dizzy delirium, I’m sharing the link before I change my mind.  So, maybe go read it – even if it’s not the single funniest thing I’ve ever written.  Then tell all your friends about it.

And yes…I too am amused that I wrote an article about sex and didn’t use the word vagina once.


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28 thoughts on “I Swear It’s Not Porn

  1. My God girl, you are a powerful writer. I can hardly see to type this. It’s impossible to imagine the horror, pain and terror you must have done battle with. I know you are a remarkable person, now I know a little about what shaped you this way. Funny how those who have walked through fire, mostly end up being the most joyous ones to know. You are pretty amazing, my friend. (x)
    .-= Shrinky´s last blog ..This n’ That =-.

  2. Elly, I love you even though you made me cry.

    Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I will be thinking about it long after I turn off my computer. Long after.

    I hope your powerful and inspirational words reach the eyes of those who need them most.

    You are incredible and my new hero.

  3. I’m glad you shared that, Elly. “Beautifully written, powerful, and amazing” are words that describe not only your writing, but also your person.

  4. Aw, sweetie…that was lovely. Very brave of you to share it. Not that this is the same, but there was a line there that I said a year ago myself, “I trusted my body.” For me, it was after childbirth. As a daughter, grand-daughter, and great-grand-daughter of reproductive cancer carriers (two of whom died of the disease), I have come to think of my reproductive system as a bomb waiting to go off. To see it produce a child, to go through the labor process…well, afterward, I also said, “I trust my body.” How wonderful for you to find life affirmed.

    Also? You know we’re all waiting to read your porn.
    .-= Falling´s last blog ..Instructions for a Moment of Perfection =-.

    1. I’m pretty sure my mom isn’t waiting to read my porn.

      That must make Tankbaby all the more special. Thanks for sharing that personal nugget. Of course I now just adore you even more. Now look what you’ve done.

  5. That was a beautiful piece.

    And you know, as always, your parents are priceless. What does your dad mean by “Wouldn’t you technically have to clean up your act to write for a porn site?” Did he confuse this with running government office? 😉
    .-= subWOW´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: Here, have an MRI =-.

  6. You may have beaten yourself over writing that, but you nailed it..that was beautiful Elly, don’t ever doubt your ability to write porn… Keep living! I’m sharing this one with MY parents!

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