I’m a little melancholy today. Don’t panic, I promise this isn’t all doom and gloom. There’s plenty of obscenities, ass smacking, unicorns, bunnies, and gangsta rap if you just stick with me to the end. It’s just been a funny week so I’m having trouble focusing.
One of my favorite people on earth had a little setback with his cancer. As per usual, he managed to make me smile even as I took in the news. He’s magic like that. There’s a reason he’s one of my favorites. He’s going to be fine, damnit. But all the same, just send some happy healing thoughts his way, k?
Then there’s the whole letter my lawyer just sent, backing out of our house purchase. Seems no one wants to buy my adorable condo in Hoboken. Sadly my plans for world domination are still in the early stages to I don’t really have the liquid assets to pay two mortgages. I guess it’s time to take all the kitchenware out of the oven.
In a mere six days, I’ll be on the road for a consulting gig I’m doing – where I travel to six cities in THREE WEEKS. While I’m sure I’ll squeeze in some fun, I’m a little nervous. I haven’t done anything like this in years (read: since before I got sick). I guess there’s nothing like a trial by fire to figure out if you have all your strength back, eh? *gulp*
On the other hand (this is where we bring back the fun, I promise), you guys have sent me some abso-smurfly wonderful things lately – things that make me piddle a little on my desk chair because I laugh so hard when I see them. (Note to self: recover desk chair.)
Sarah, you are completely right. I NEED my very own Unicorn Corn Holders. I’m not sure how I’ve survived this long without them. While I’m ordering, I’ll probably snatch up a set of the Unikeys and the Freakin’ Magical Unicorn Gum as well. If you ever want to pursue a gig with Amazon, call me. I write a mean letter of recommendation.
As per usual, Creamed Corn comes up with some rather wonderful jewels. After I lost hours distracted by this site about scary Easter Bunnies he sent me the following music video. Now I answer the phone, “Where my gerunds at?” Just an FYI, that confuses the hell out of most caterers.
My brother Thom sets the bar pretty high as well. I’d never even heard of Garfunkel and Oates before he sent me a link to this video. He seems to think I say douche too often. What a douche.
But the winner for the week? Jess – hands down – when she sent me this article. I can’t decide if how I feel about this video – am I horrified, amused, or uncomfortable? Then I focused on the guys face when I watched it for the fourteenth time. The answer is d) all of the above. I can’t stop watching this. I propose Gwen and Matt bust these moves for their first dance as man and wife.
You’re welcome. Now…I have to go see a man about a bicycle. Sadly that’s not a euphemism.