Him: So you know how sometimes I go and book the flights for our vacations without telling you?
Me: *blank stare*
Him: And then you get really mad. And then you get excited. And then you figure out all the hotels and restaurants and things to see?
Me: We are not going on vacation. We can’t even organize a trip to the grocery store. Speaking of…your lunch options are pickles, oatmeal, or frozen peas. I suppose we could put that all together…
Me: Where you saying something?
Him: And you keep saying how you miss creating and how you end up spending what little free time you have trying to make it work…
Him: So I ordered the tickets.
Me: Wait. That’s an analogy, right? Because seriously we can’t go on vacation. Your kid can’t go more than three hours without motor-boating me.
Him: This seemed like a better investment than a vacation.
Me: It better be cheaper than a vacation, too.
Him: You need a new computer.
Me: Don’t do it.
Him: I already ordered it.
Me: It’s too much. It’s too soon. It’s too frightening. I’m not ready.
Him: He’s 18 months. We’re going to start sleep training. We’ll find you some time.
Me: But I’m nervous.
Him: Get nervous. Because I’ve taken away your excuses.
It’s on, Interwebz. I’m back. OK, maybe not BACK back like imma-post-every-damn-day back, but back. Think more like imma-post-a-couple-times-a-month-and-do-some-ukeing back.
You know what? Do call it a comeback. Fuck that noise. I’m saying this here, out loud, for accountability. I. Am. Back.
And as you can see by the flossy new look* around here, I’m bringing Herbert along for the ride.
*No seriously. The site looks amazing, right? All the props to Jennifer. Hire her. Then give her a little cuddle. Because that will totally score you a discount. Maybe. At the very least you’ll have banked a solid cuddle.