Election time in Hoboken always makes me giggle. Our last mayor held office a whopping twenty-three days before he was arrested by the feds for embezzling. In fact, most of our former mayors are currently serving time in a penitentiary situation. Corruption is kinda our thing.
I know, you’re thinking, “Of course it’s corrupt, it’s JERSEY.” And that, Interwebz, is completely true. But Hoboken is probably the most corrupt town in Jersey (With the possible exception of Albany. Which isn’t even in Jersey. I should probably ease up on these meds.). If New Jersey were the Jackson 5, Hoboken would be Michael. (I’m not entirely sure that analogy works, but you’d totally get it if you were on these cold meds. Trust me.)
I’m always excited to rip open my sample ballot. Why? Because Hobokenites come up with the best political slogans ever. For example, last election some one ran under the “I Have Proof NSA Did 911” slogan.
There are two doozies on this current ballot. The first, “Politicians Are Crooks” seems to be pretty straight forward, but amusing none the less. The one that makes my head hurt (more than the sinus pressure already hurts) is the “Gravity Buoyancy Solution” slogan.
Does anyone have any idea what that means?
Is it somehow related to Hoboken being a river town that occasionally loses large chunks of the waterfront into the churning Hudson because our engineers seem to have mail-order degrees? If we were more buoyant, would those chunks of Hoboken just bob along in the river until we could reattach them with duct tape and super glue? Is gravity the enemy here or the river? I’m so confused. Is he going to petition Congress to abolish gravity?
Is this just a weird Jersey thing? Do you people have candidates with bizarro slogans printed right on the ballots, too?
I looked it up. If I run for office in Jersey I can have a three word slogan next to my name. Fortunately KeepingYouAwake made my political banner long ago.