I think I have a new boyfriend. His name is Aloe Blacc. Aloe like the plant. Blacc like the…um…blacc.
I can’t get this song out of my head. (Hey, hey.) Also? I need backup singers to follow me around and punctuate my pauses with harmonized exclamations. (Hey, hey.) Also I’m going to try to say things like “Wine is good to me and helps me pass the time,” more often. (Hey, hey.)
Need more? Check this one out. Seriously. Who knew a Michael Jackson song could make a girl moist? Maybe don’t answer that.
Ok, I think I’m ready to continue now.
No wait….(Hey, hey.)
It’s time to stop pretending that I have anything to say today that even begins to compare to the magnificence and glory of this:
Right?!?! Remember how much The Vegetable Assassin hates kazoos? Well, with that extra 3 minutes she saved last week by skipping the uke video, she created that masterpiece you see above. I’m thinking about wallpapering my bathroom with that image. Also I might make place mats. Or maybe I’ll put it on baby ones-ies. At the very least, I’m going to start mocking up some customized Thank You Notecards for all the agents that don’t want to represent my book.
Now go forth and Monday, Interwebz. I have to make a special shopping trip today because the clerk at the CVS across the street told me,”There’s no such thing as Super Bowl tinsel.” But I know full well he’s lying and just wants to horde it all for himself and HIS Super Bowl party. Also, if we’re going to go caroling, Herbert needs to learn some fight songs, STAT.
Wait, do pro teams have fight songs? The Super Bowl is pro teams, right? Does that affect the sort of tree you’re supposed to get? I get all these damn bowls confused.
Please tell me that if I just buy an ass ton (like five pounds? Hey, hey.) of cheddar cheese that everything else party related will be ok…