Have you ever noticed that cold meds make everything seem like a good idea? Me either. Mom, don’t read any further.
My bedroom is too small for bedside tables. We managed to squeeze in a queen size bed and a dresser. The end. So I don’t have a little “magic drawer” to house my *ahem* toys.
*Waves to Mom* I TOLD you…
I have to keep the things in my sock drawer. And lately, I’m running out of places to put my socks.
Seriously Mom, this is getting kind of awkward. Maybe you should go play a game of solitaire instead of read any further.
Rocco is a mixture of appalled, fascinated, and intimidated. When he held up the particularly complicated WeVibe I scored at BlogHer, he observed, “They should really color code the boxes for these things so people know what skill level is needed for correct operation.”
Remember when vibrators ran on C batteries? Obviously I don’t because I just heard about vibrators about a week ago…I can still see you, Mom. But I think someone told me that once. Most of the new batch aggressively evicting my sock collection run on your normal AA’s. (Except the black belt WeVibe model. That thing seems to run on lithium and the tears of saints.)
But a handful of my pastel-colored machines run on these tiny, round, flat, disc-like batteries. I’ve seen those tiny batteries before. My Granpa uses them in his hearing aids. Which, PS, makes me wonder exactly what hearing aids do for your ears.
But it’s kinda weird to cruise over to my local drug store and buy a jumbo pack of hearing aid batteries. Even if my vagina is deaf.
And now I’m going to think of my Grandpa’s waxy ear canals every time I see those vibrators. I think I might have room for some socks, after all.
No, do NOT show this to Dad and yell at him for what HIS offspring is putting on the internet. Just thank your lucky stars that Thom doesn’t blog.