I’m mildly obsessed with Neil Patrick Harris. The term “mildly obsessed” in that previous sentence could also be replaced with “consumed by an intense need to host a slumber party where he and I stay up all night giggling and singing show tunes after which I will chain him up in my basement where I will feed him peeled grapes and curry paste so that I can force him to do his Barney Stinson any time I need a little pick-me-up.” I really like me some NPH.
Sometimes I wish I had another gay brother just so NPH could marry into the family.
I also have a special place in my evil body-snatching heart for Jason Segel. He’s funny, freakishly tall, and infatuated with muppets – remind you of anyone else you know? (No, the answer is not Tim Robbins. Sheesh.) I would play that breakup scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall on endless loop if I could find time in my busy Twilight watching schedule.
All that talk of Forgetting Sarah Marshall has me craving Russell Brand for lunch. Damn you, Katy Perry. Fortunately for all of us, Russell if off topic. Plus my basement dungeon really only has room for NPH. Plus I don’t have a basement. Sigh.
Last night I got a call from the little brother.
I was nervous to answer as I had just read the flurry of comments on my Facebook post announcing his colon irrigation. I assumed he was not amused. Fortunately residual anesthesia and brown liquor put him in the mood for watching YouTube videos rather than social networking. I was saved.
Thom: “Are you near your computer?”
Me: “I could be. Why?”
Thom: “I have to show you something.”
Me: “Does it involve Facebook?”
Thom: “No. It’s on YouTube. Wait, why do you ask?”
Me: “No reason. I’m ready.”
Thom: “Search How I Met Your Mother and Confrontation.”
Me: “I’m intrigued.”
Thom: “You’re welcome. I figured this video would cement Rocco in third place of the men in your life list…assuming we don’t count fictional vampires.”
Me: “It’s…absolutely beautiful.”
Thom: “What the hell is this?”
Thom: “You’ve got Magillicutty pimping your blog, too?”
Me: “That tramp has got to earn her keep. Say, why don’t you look at YouTube some more?”
Thom: “Seriously? Next item: call and check on my brother’s colon?”
And Interwebz? It was all that I dreamed it would be and more. I must share it now. I must also share that Thom has not fully regained control of his bowel. I find both of these things incredibly amusing. You’re welcome.