Assuming We Don’t Count Fictional Vampires

I’m mildly obsessed with Neil Patrick Harris.  The term “mildly obsessed” in that previous sentence could also be replaced with “consumed by an intense need to host a slumber party where he and I stay up all night giggling and singing show tunes after which I will chain him up in my basement where I will feed him peeled grapes and curry paste so that I can force him to do his Barney Stinson any time I need a little pick-me-up.”  I really like me some NPH.

Sometimes I wish I had another gay brother just so NPH could marry into the family.

I also have a special place in my evil body-snatching heart for Jason Segel.  He’s funny, freakishly tall, and infatuated with muppets – remind you of anyone else you know?  (No, the answer is not Tim Robbins.  Sheesh.)  I would play that breakup scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall on endless loop if I could find time in my busy Twilight watching schedule.

All that talk of Forgetting Sarah Marshall has me craving Russell Brand for lunch.  Damn you, Katy Perry.  Fortunately for all of us, Russell if off topic.  Plus my basement dungeon really only has room for NPH.  Plus I don’t have a basement.  Sigh.

Last night I got a call from the little brother.

I was nervous to answer as I had just read the flurry of comments on my Facebook post announcing his colon irrigation.  I assumed he was not amused.  Fortunately residual anesthesia and brown liquor put him in the mood for watching YouTube videos rather than social networking.  I was saved.

Thom:  “Are you near your computer?”

Me:  “I could be.  Why?”

Thom:  “I have to show you something.”

Me:  “Does it involve Facebook?”

Thom:  “No.  It’s on YouTube.  Wait, why do you ask?”

Me:  “No reason.  I’m ready.”

Thom:  “Search How I Met Your Mother and Confrontation.”

Me:  “I’m intrigued.”

Thom:  “You’re welcome.  I figured this video would cement Rocco in third place of the men in your life list…assuming we don’t count fictional vampires.”

Me:  “It’s…absolutely beautiful.”

Thom:  “What the hell is this?”

Me:  “What?”

Thom:  “You’ve got Magillicutty pimping your blog, too?”

Me:  “That tramp has got to earn her keep.  Say, why don’t you look at YouTube some more?”

Thom:  “Seriously?  Next item: call and check on my brother’s colon?”

Me:  *click*

And Interwebz?  It was all that I dreamed it would be and more.  I must share it now.  I must also share that Thom has not fully regained control of his bowel.  I find both of these things incredibly amusing.  You’re welcome.


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30 thoughts on “Assuming We Don’t Count Fictional Vampires

  1. I am way behind the times, I guess… The first thing I thought of when I clicked play was “Hey!!! That’s Doogie! All grown up. That’s neat.”

    I also enjoyed the comment “Are you near your computer?” That’s a tricky question. If I am, I am hesitant to say I am so I don’t sound like I sit in front of the computer all day. if I’m not I’ll run through the house to do it right away.
    .-= KeepingYouAwake´s last blog ..I Wish I Was a Bear =-.

    1. Dude. 700 square feet. I am ALWAYS near my computer.

      If you don’t know all the joy that Doogie has become, stop EVERYTHING and go watch Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. NOW. I just changed your life. You’re welcome.

    1. Mmmhmm. ‘Cause I’m sure before this post you were all, “I really respect that Elly – that’s a girl to be recognized and admired.” ‘Cause that’s EXACTLY how you roll…

      You see why I had to revoke your Comment Luv privileges.

  2. That’s a beautiful moment……..roflmao……seriously…..it is so illegal the things I want to do to that werewolf boy from New Moon, holy hell!!!! He would never be the same again. My completely not secret Hollywood crush is Dennis Leary…so angry, foul mouthed, hotttttt!! I like it!! Of course, I would want him to leave immediately after I was finished with him. LOL I would want to hang out with Richard Gere and I have a serious girl crush on Meryl Streep, of all things, she is so awesome, I totally vibe on her ability to do anything she wants.
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wickedly Confused……… =-.

    1. That is such a strange medley of boys, dirty old men, and non-traditional girl crushes! I think you broke my brain. If you like foul mouthed, stick around here a little while. 🙂

  3. Oh I wish I had a gay brother. My brother is straight and knocked up a trashy whore bimbo thing. Twice. But that’s okay, he’s still a great brother. A girl can dream though.

    And if you ever have Neil Patrick Harris over for a sleepover I better get an invitation. I’ll bring the booze.
    .-= Amanda@BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Fancy a Walk? =-.

    1. See that’s where you messed up. My brothers all “think” they are straight. I just need to get NPH in a wig and hot pants to woo my brothers. And let’s be honest. It shouldn’t be too hard to get NPH in a wig and hot pants.

  4. Elly, As much as I enjoy NPH, I cannot endure that goddam show for even a minute. I also adore Sarah Marshall guy but the script blows so badly…it is impossibly lame. hmmmm….must reconsider. because if you, elly, like it…well, then i should like it too.

    Even when bedrested for a million years and unable to sleep with NO cable tv, I would not,could not watch it.
    love brilliant sulk’s comment and must go see her now. thanks elly. you are the best hookup…ever
    and that is how you keep ’em comin back for more.
    .-= magda´s last blog ..It is all a big LIE =-.

  5. I love How I Met Your Mother. However, I have a hard time being infatuated with any of the characters. Once they showed a close up of Jason Segel eating cookies, and I’m too OCD for that shit. It grossed me the fuck out and I never looked at him the same. I would like to see Barney work on a car or change some oil. Any man who has softer hands than me gets -10 points right off the top. I’m sure they’ll each be devastated to learn that I’m not interested.
    .-= Jaime´s last blog ..people are assholes… =-.

    1. So just to be clear here: cooking eating = bad, penis slapping = fine. I have to think about that one a minute.

      That’s cool. It leaves all the more for me. [Insert maniacal laughter here.]

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