Some days you’re the leggings. You’re just phoning it in, knowing that your day is going to involve way more leisure than athletics and she’s really wearing you because she’s too bloated after “Wings and a Pitcher Night” to wear a proper waistband. The pilling of your fabric happening in […]
Somehow I though Spring would be greener. But it was light before 6 am this morning so I AM TAKING THE WINS WHERE I CAN. Do you know what else is a win? Having slightly pushy friends that kick you in the ass when you feel like wallowing in phlegm […]
“It was so odd,” my mom pauses her game of FreeCell on her iPad. “Mmmm,” Dad mumbles from the couch, non committal to contributing the conversation. “In the locker room, after swimming, Evie was talking about the party again and all the art…” “She was super fun,” I interrupt. “She […]
So my hips are precariously perched on the high edge of one of those wedge pillow things you see advertised in porn mags and fertility literature…
Now that I am a New York Times reviewed author, (STILL SCREAMING!!!) I think it’s really important to try and be more professional. Which is exactly why I’m working on a piece about Michael Cohen sex dreams and a cover of It’s Raining Tacos. Who has two thumbs, a mild […]